Posted 23.11.03 by Deirdre

Memories of another day with you
I realized something today
nothing new
it's that I love you

I took a left at my normal right
made a turn from wrong to light
what I found
while driving on
were memories of yesterday
we must have forgotten

I remember when you whispered
you said you loved me, said you missed me
I remember when I kissed you last
my face was red
my heart was too
And I remember, do you
because the hearts we gave away came back as one not two

I realized something today
that you'll wait for me
and I'll come for you
and I'll live for you the words "I love you"

what I made as I kept driving on
were memories of another day
a day that hasn't happened
a day where I'm with you

Posted 16.11.03 by Deirdre

Between the lines
Perhaps I don't know myself well enough to agree with you yet
but something inside me comes out when you tear at my ribs
and dig to my heart and through one side to the other
you kill me with the cutdowns then say you're just kidding
but nothing you say seems too funny when it's directed at me
all I have is my music yet you tell me it's worthless
you called me an antisocial poet and robbed me of pride
you say I'm too introspective
let's face it, I don't know who else to be
But now I know who not to be
so thank you for telling me
you bring back memories of who I was and why I loved hatred
you take me back and pummel my efforts into nothing
so here I am
a fool again
clinging to hate again
I can't blame you, but thank you for trying my patience
I'm weighed and found wanting
I'll run now so I can't fight back with comebacks
I'll hide in the corner and play my guitar the way that pleases me
and no longer because you tell me I suck
all that ever did was make me obsessed
I'd play to improve on what made me hate to...
but I'm not longer playing for you
go amuse yourself, I know you are used to

Posted 16.11.03 by Deirdre

back to my senses
Suffer her
screaching and
frail, thin frame
oh my God
Your bride to be
upon the stage and buried beneath
her feet raised up
to magnetic sky
to north, to death

my head's six feet under
these chains watch my back
and my hands are tied
to depths that I lack
I am a soul solely
unfaithful to you
my life's a cage
I am a pet to rats
they gnaw at my innerds
I try to fight back
but I'm on both sides
hitting myself
clawing my face
and bending my nails back

God, how can you suffer longer than I make you
my sin's a cage, and I am a slave
yet I am outside, starving and holding the rations
inside I remain irrational and eat my hands
yet, you suffer
you suffer long
and give me so long to come back

back to my senses

Posted 9.11.03 by Deirdre

Gloom and Glad

Dmaj D/C# A/C# F#m G C#2 C#m Bm

I guess that this means goodbye
why, oh why do I let it
get by on making you mad
I shared in your gloom and in your glad
so don't guess what the future holds for us
don't throw out the good from goodbye
even these tears may tell us lies

don't take goodbye too literally my friend
you know this means that I'll be back again
so don't cry
save all your tears cause I'll dry your eyes

even these tears may tell us lies
hiding the good from our goodbyes
it's a good night
to wave to our morrow's hugs
and tomorrow's kisses to come

don't take goodbye too literally my friend
you know this means that I'll be back again
don't give in to lies told us by our saddened eyes
cause nothing can keep us from this
not even the distance

Posted 1.11.03 by Deirdre

The boy who stopped the world
by Aaron Sprinkle

Don't think you can stop it now
I'd like to see you try somehow
Realize that it puts it all on you
There's nothing you can do

Right now you're sick and tired
You're feeling sad, you're feeling uninspired
And the clock just won't slow down
Like it gets its kicks pushing you around
You around...

Maybe in the morning in won't be
Quite as bad as it seems
But the fact that you can't change
The speed of sound, the rate of ages
An understatement to the state of mind
You're not used to
Used to...

You'd be
Forever known
As the boy who stopped the world
And made his own

Right now you're sick and tired
You're feeling sad, you're feeling uninspired
So I pray for you my friend
That you'll fall down, you'll give in
You'll give in...

Posted 28.10.03 by Deirdre

All along
I wrote
I'm nothing with you
said I can't go on without you
and that I'm broken in two
pieces

Of heart and mind
I said I'm losing one but gaining another
side of me
you're the missing part of me
where have you been
all along

oh, the pieces...

But, my heart is racing and my mind is gone
I abandoned my sanity at midnight
and I gave my heart away
and I got another in return
she took half and I got the other
oh, the pieces of love
come together
tonight

I wrote this poem while looking back on
a poem that I had written to my bride
before we had confessed our love for each other.
That poem is called Midnight on the 12th of February.
I wrote this earlier this year.

Midnight on the 12th of February
I'm broke and I'm broken
without a cent to fix the mess
I am without her
and I cannot fly to Unity and hold her

Posted 18.10.03 by Deirdre

Oh me, oh my
I finally made it
Guess I made a few
Where am I and you
the boy and the glue
Oh me, Oh my
they come undone
what have I done
I've clung to you
and come undone
where am I in you

Posted 9.10.03 by Deirdre

Somewhere in Between
by Lifehouse

I can't meet
Losing sleep over this
No I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
I'm somewhere in between
What is real
and Just a dream
What is real
and Just a dream
What is real
and Just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I can be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real
and Just a dream
What is real
and Just a dream
What is real
and Just a dream
What is real and just a dream
©2000 Lifehouse

Posted 9.10.03 by Deirdre

Everything
by Lifehouse

find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are everything
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything
everything
©2000 Lifehouse

Posted 27.9.03 by Deirdre

Perfect memory
by Remy Zero

Remember how they always seemed to know
we had the forest in our eyes
but the earth was in our clothes
and they thought we'd fall
not at all

so look back on the treasured days
we were young in a world that was so tired
though it's not what we wanted before
even the saints had to crawl from the floor
summers when the money was gone you'd sing
all your little songs
that meant every thing to me

and i'll remember you
and the things that we used to do
and the things that we used to say
i'll remember you
that way

remember how they tried to hold you down
and we climbed those towers
and looked down upon our town
and everything you hoped would last
just always becomes your past (it hurts)
summers when the money was gone you'd sing
all your little songs that meant everything
to me

but then this world
slipped through my fingers
and even the sun seemed tired
i still cared
as i lowered you down
my heart just jaded
in that moment the earth made no sound
but you were there
you helped me lift my pain into the air

if it don't hurt you
it won't hurt me
it don't hurt me
then it won't hurt you
if it don't hurt you
it won't hurt me i know

©2003 Remy Zero
visit: remyzero.com

Posted 15.9.03 by Deirdre

Mawkish, fickle
Sappy
happy
you sappy
me happy
sticky like a fickle nickel
no better than beaten around the bush
till our minds go crazy
slow, still, on the upkeep
we're giving in
selling out for pseudo-smiles
making quota by the haze upon our eyes,
I'm happy
the glaze upon a smile, unhappy

unhappy
you and me
all our lies play out upon our faces
we fall in line with smiles and courtesy
but who here really means it
cause they should be our leader


hehe

Posted 10.9.03 by Deirdre

Tomorrow, forever

when we'll be together
we'll lay beside a willow tree
give our days to counting leaves
and cuddle beneath a setting sun
we'll take our time and share the sky
embrace until the dawn and dew rise
we'll lie and wait till church bells ring
run to marry at the altar
saving all our time together
that slips like sand between our fingers
sprinkling love on our eyes
to give us dreams for when we sleep

when we'll be together, our hearts will skip a beat
we'll share every one after that
and we'll bleed our deepest wounds
our souls will have their fill of comfort
and our lips will have theirs, too

...just a day, another day
and we will be together
under sky and willow tree
the sunrise and the sunset
above the falling leaves
just a day, another day
and we will have forever
just a day, another day
and we will be together

I love you, Deirdre!

Posted 1.9.03 by Deirdre

Out of the picture

Sisters, brothers, friends and lovers; careless how we treat each other... we throw ourselves at the canvas in stains of black and blue. With shades of gray to skin, and painted bones beneath our gaze down from these tainted eyes of red, we are staring at the palette just as one who's read between the lines of love and dipped the brush in lies, coloring a world to meet a colorless delight. When will we love outside ourselves? When will brighter colors be claimed from off the shelf? How long can we--will we wait to want to love; or will we fail to climb above our frame and let the artist's name remain? For we all know now we're not art. All we are is just a stain. And until we step out of the picture, should we dare to wear His name?

Posted 13.8.03 by Deirdre

Patre luminum
(Father of lights)

Viola's bow, played below,
tarry on a flat note creed!
In key of lowly, lonely tuning,
sing cello, harp, and lead!
And summon soon, tonight's new moon
through songs of darkest melody.
                                                                             
i: Instructions to a symphony.

Posted 4.8.03 by Deirdre

Hebrews 2:1 NASB

"We must pay much closer attention to what we
have heard, so that we do not drift away from it!"

Posted 4.8.03 by Deirdre

four lane highway
today didn't wait to take a life
that waited yesterday for this future
that all turned dark and spun into a ditch
was that the last you saw of the road
you'd waited life-long to find the end of
cause our vehicle wouldn't stop to help you out
and now I regret every passing second passing by me
and I wonder if you're dead and wondering why
it cost us every effort just to cry
it took you seconds there to die

Posted 24.7.03 by Deirdre

Fading memories, making new ones

Bliss is
a lethean drip
from a sea of forgetfulness.
The styx I've sailed,
and sins I've bled
had resurfaced again and again.
But now that I've tasted you,
a river lethe, deep enough to swim,
cannot end the eternity
that I'm drowning in.

Posted 8.6.03 by Deirdre

sickly
see pale face
a sad state
sickly pallor
empty plate

hear a song
and aaron surely
can take you back
to where doug left
by cursing a friend
killing a brother
oh

so what takes you down
so sickly

Posted 5.6.03 by Deirdre

I'll be the last thing on your mind
makeshift bliss
in headlong trip
numb to all the tenderness
severed nerves
so unperturbed
stinging bees across bodies
never even feeling this

failures...
breaking nails on the prison wall
while counting down another three
holding head down low beneath hands.
beneath feet, the dust that makes me.

this is now your conscience burning
watching me pull hair, pull teeth
grow feet, but get cut down again
by the miming act that has me convinced
that I am chained and still walled in
and the dust is rising around me like a sinking sand

Oh God You must speak to me
after today I am probably the last thing on your mind
yet You love me in spite of being convinced of
what You said to Yourself upon that cross:
"I'll be the last thing on your mind"

Lord, I don't want to make you secondary to these cravings

Posted 4.6.03 by Deirdre

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Posted 29.5.03 by Deirdre

in scherzo
long-winded, still he makes his move
in scherzo--spiry, wooing, dancing,
moving closely in to take her hand, he says

you are so beautiful, and I've waited lifelong for this
cause your face has lit my way to Heaven...

but she feigns her ignorance through coy and madness
'cross that pretty face she's wielding.
well, her feeler words hint kiss me, just the same
her heart agrees and meets his lips so lambently.

come away with me, angel...beautiful, heavenly runaway
he says, grinning only inches from her kiss's reach

Posted 16.5.03 by Deirdre

Thank you
You're washing my feet
How can you bow down to make me clean
You see right through the veil
And love beyond disease
You infect me
by piercing me with mercy
I thank you for Your mercy

You say You can renew my mind
Jesus make me new tonight
I'm in love with You, Jesus
I am so in love with You
You love between the walls I've raised
And you gently pierce me through
You have loved me though I spit in Your face
I'm so in love with Jesus
I am so in love with You

Thank you, c.c.c.v., for opening my eyes!

Posted 11.5.03 by Deirdre

Renew your mind
Your head is vacant,
mind is taken up with travesties
to stimulate a fantasy.
Simpleton, you hold your head up high
yet, never raise it up
from where you feed your mind.
Hell-bent on a lowly creed:
an intimacy, a god,
a crotch, in all its sovereignty,
pillaging anything you see,
obeying every selfish whim.
You make any passer-by
a slave to (insert-fantasy).
You are the master of your prison,
yet a slave to your body,
marked by scars of inanition from a mental harem
fighting Solomon for first,
in a master/slave battle royal
packed with clever irony.

Posted 3.5.03 by Deirdre

Hope to never be without you
Cling to me.
Come away with me.
Follow me home
to our future,
to our life together.
Lovesick with you,
yet I am feeling better,
now that I know you'll settle
down with me.
Stay with me,
marry me.
Cling to me.

Posted 18.4.03 by Deirdre

No longer schizo
No welcome at the door, and I wipe my shoes.
Since when were you so synical?
they say about the attitude.
Honestly, it's not that I'm any different.
It's that I'm honest now that I'm naked.
David said ten to a room yet no petition.
Everything's amiss.
A few prayers have been misplaced.

So I was honest but your laughs still shut me out.
I felt like this is all I'll ever be from here on out
I felt that no one would remember a me that once stood, burning.
I'm beginning to doubt I even did that.
But I'd rather be honest than try and polish my shell for Sunday.
I'm no longer schizo.
Had you met my twin?
He's filled my shoes since I was ten.
Now he's just a severed head, and I'm no longer schizo.
©2003 AshNook

Posted 13.4.03 by Deirdre

Fed up with starving
How is it adequate
they know it's never enough
it's just a feeling that you've been feeding them.

When was it adequate
you know it's never enough
it's just a feeling you've been fed. Up...
til' now your god, endorfins,
sat enthroned sovereign upon your three lb. fallen brain.
You'd never know the enemy had your flank.

Allegorically speaking of milk as the simpleton's religion
do you think we'll ever climb the pyramid to the top every food group?
As it is, they're preying on the weak when we vacation on foundation
at the bottom of the food chain.
How is it adequate, gorging cream in revelry.
We're fed and fed, but still we're left here starving.
Though we throttle throats of brethren in our common calling.
Still, the Sunday morning church-going, milk-mustached pacifists
chronicly repose the pliancy of our perpetual immaturity.
©2003 AshNook

Posted 9.4.03 by Deirdre

Heavy-handed loss of breath
I must have finally touched down
no more wind to pull me 'round,
no more clouds to bury my head up in.
This is what it is to be grounded.
Bottoms up with no floor to fall under.
No song, no poem, no melody.
I must have finally come down.

In a heavy-handed loss of breath
the sky above my eyes did reft
the last of me, the best of me.
You've got the best of me.

I promise you I'll write some more
if it means a thing, don't close the door on me.
On me. I'm yours. It's on me. On me.
©2003 AshNook

Posted 1.4.03 by Deirdre

A mother's friend
The toy ambulance tumbled down the staircase,
echoing the taping of falling rain from gutters to an outer windowsill.
I heard it from the kitchen, the patter of little feet...
my children playing above the ceiling floorboards.
Innocence and abandon followed their chuckles and playful screams.

I cannot thank the dishes enough, again returning to their daily high.
But my eyes are flirting with the recliner in the den now.
I turn in step, but without seeing the ambulance that cleverly trips me.
And again--today like yesterday, I am floored with laughter and their share of pain...
So I arise and return to the kitchen again, where I find a friend in my bottle of Aspirin.
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 29.3.03 by Deirdre

a mad, mad girl
please pity the pitiful red-faced underdog
girl with a mission to fission
so sad
so very glad to be just that.

sitting and wallowing in her self-pity
alone with a phone book
full of those who don't give a ship
nor enough to see that she'll float.

discontinue the decaying process
that ever-downward spiral from
the undertoe
in all its promised amends
that constant creed; the need be me.

you and your bitter daily song-list of addiction
to your self-loathing manifestation in the public eye; pride.

ninny on my blindside
riddling my backside
bullets from her past time
bitterness of last time

Posted 21.3.03 by Deirdre

In the rain
the room is loud
their faces are indifferent towards me now
all staring freely through me
with the eyes behind those empty heads.

I scream I want to die, my friend
though you never called me friend,
have you ever called, my friend
and did you hear me call you friend
the stage was set when we came in
to do
or undo
oh, what to do
how to undo me echoes
in the voices raised above my theme song
everyone will egg me on
and drown me out
Leaving me out to dry,
but in the rain
and I'm standing in the rain again

Posted 21.3.03 by Deirdre

Dear me,

Perhaps you think the loneliness
will justify the silence.
I've often eavesdropped on your quiet ramblings in your head,
you promising a glorious end to meet the means which
is killing you
gradually.

              Always,
               you

Posted 16.3.03 by Deirdre

Steven's cult
Your mouth spews only dirty water, Steven
even on the morning on the way to church.
You make outrageous claims
with your uneducated forsight.
your doctrine blasphemes Christ who'd save you.
The inner man in me cries out for ways of misery
to find you here and mute your untamed mouth...
To shove your wisdom where the sun don't shine.
you and your fools gold gospel
can go to hell while you continue saying
oooooh well

Posted 14.3.03 by Deirdre

She's my Spring
She counts the hours she is without me
and lonely in her silent wondering.
Her thoughts are racing all about me
and all that we will soon be doing.
The sundial spins
despite our efforts to shake our shadows.
For the rain could never douse the sun with showers,
hence ceasing time to be.
So here I wait beside a teary, dismal meadow's tree,
with no desire for retreating any season's anonymity.
For now she must be only miles from me.
And I am counting flowers that I've picked for her...
and only her, only her.
She's my spring, and I'll hold her into winter,
but I will not release her even then,
when and if we'll marry hither.

In solemn dedication to my distant Deirdre: you are mine, and I will chase you... ignoring the deterrent fears of the unkown and unseen. I will never regret loving you forever. You have my word and my heart!!
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 10.3.03 by Deirdre

Falling asleep
a minor key, tonight's lonely onward moaning
plays sadness to the wayward man in me
in a march night's distant lunar melody
while counting sheep in a crescendo
scales ascend so madly
and I close my eyes on delirante
as if to say I'll enjoy the psychosis

Posted 18.2.03 by Deirdre

Fossil Fish Net
break free from the doctrinal chains
denominational frays in this tapestry maze
tear it all down! has Christ's body been divided?
lay aside our pride
and forget the battlecry we've sung against our own kind
untie the knots 'round our hands and feet
open up the doors, realize there's neither Jew nor Greek
get up and free yourselves, the earthquake has broken the cell gate
adjust your vision and follow His angel
outside of 'blissful' ignorance
where are your eyes now
where are the body & blood of Christ
drop to your knees and repent of this sin
no longer closing eyes to Scripture again
no longer below reproach at the pulpit in sin
no longer what tickles the ears of our visitors
no longer this seeker friendly hush-hush religion
where nothing's the truth, just a lot of mush so we still feel good
dust off your Bibles, follow in the ways of the Bereans
crucify this fleshly denominational heresy forever
and never take it down from that tree
about face, repent, embrace a dying world in need
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 14.2.03 by Deirdre

A peaceful chorus
Another day ending on a pleasant note
One more cloud of gray gone from our sky
for your joy is music to my ears
like a choir of angels singing that you're safely home
Strings and woodwinds join the chorus of your song
while the heavens sweetly darken
(Happy Valentine's Day, Dedge)
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 14.2.03 by Deirdre

Mark 13:22
hail mary
lullaby
holding hands
in pergamum
constantine's
holiday
bodies up to the sky
with martyrdom
stacking high
the new religion
crucify
say Christ is dead again
and the dark age downcast
breeds a modern day
not just another day
this is a new age creed
with the Bible molting
in a cage
another hail mary for me
oh, rosary
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 13.2.03 by Deirdre

Crawling highways
I'm taking it in
taken like a bitter pill
taking it cause I love it no matter how silent we remain
for every letter is a mile closer to your hands
but here I am, three thousand miles of distance between me and you
and there you are, where I can only dream of the someday-you-and-me
I'm taking it in
taking it like the bitter pill
taking it in like crawling a highway with tunnel vision.
And still the bitter pill of the longing inside.
I'll remain, thousands of miles away from you
and you'll stay there, where I can only dream of arriving someday
I'm taking it in
taking every precaution not lose my direction
it's worth every painful mile
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 13.2.03 by Deirdre

The Lord knows our frailties. He is aware of our sins and struggles. Yet neither do they astonish Him or turn His face away. His eyes are continually upon us for our sin and shame has all died with His Son Jesus. By Him turning His gaze away from His only Son, He turned and looked intently upon us, and He sees our weary, weeping eyes, and desires for us to rest.

Posted 12.2.03 by Deirdre

I can't, who can
I can't wipe my eyes faster than I am crying
and the distance here is greater than I can handle
I can't say that I can hold you when your hands are cold
and this feels like the pain is in the unknown
I can't run to you tonight and reach you by the morning
and this feeling of being lost has tied my feet
I can't see beyond the gray skies
and hear beyond the thunder, but I know who can.
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 12.2.03 by Deirdre

don't, it's done
don't feel lost
he's gonna find you
he's gonna grab your hand
don't feel lost
even if you are
even if you can't see the road
even if the trees can hide the moonlight
don't feel lost
even though you feel the silence
even though the loneliness is everywhere
don't feel lost
Deirdre don't feel lost
your future is not up to them
though ahead the path is a lonely hollow
you now walk the road that Jesus walked before you
don't feel lost
cause He walked this way with all the weight of a cross
and He has lost His life and found your future
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 10.2.03 by Deirdre

Cure for the distance
I feel like we must cure this distance.
How many thousands of miles, again?
We've waited our whole lives for this.
I wish I knew the when and how.
I wish I had the answers.
I wish you were here with me,
or I, over there with you.
Because I wake up with your name on my lips.
And I'd wait to follow you around eternity in Unity,
I suppose that God has only given us the wait.
And we will have to wait for this.
This is worth every minute.
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 5.2.03 by Deirdre

When we meet, we wont depart
When we talk
We don't say much
But we don't fight much
Aint it something
We don't say much
But our talks are unperturbed

Still I'd like to talk more
Cause I miss you even when I'm with you
Because we just drown out all the emotion
And pretend that we aren't even going there
élan is somewhere, someplace lonely
you and I will find it
and you know when we meet we wont depart
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 2.2.03 by Deirdre

Hey kids! Here are a few pointers from your local public school!!
Your lusts are so easy to come by.
If you steal virginity, "planned parenthood" picks up the bill.
We can't stress enough the virtue in: if it feels good do it.
Have you decided not to keep your children?
We've got garbage cans full of them behind our abortion clinics,
go ahead, we'll take those inconveniences off your hands.
We know that the important brain cells are all between your legs,
so by the time the doctor takes out your trash,
we'll have plenty of condoms at the pep rally for your "healthy experimenting."
By the way, we'll be awarding prizes to anyone who can tell us
who coined the virtuous catch phrase, "Turn on, Tune in, drop out."
If you get bored with sex, try an "alternative lifestyle." It's completely normal!
Also, try a few religions, as long as you wont go near Christianity.
And if you see a man who calls Himself Jesus Christ,
don't trust him. He only wants to rob you of your fun!
He likes to tell people what to do!
We've had a hard time keeping His invasive 10 commandments out of our school.
Just remember... if it feels good do it...
And it wont cost you a thing
because your children will pay for all the recreation later.
We hope you continue your educational journey even into college.
Insincerely, -Your Buddy, the Public School System

Posted 31.1.03 by Deirdre

Irate
irate
years of anger
days of hate
prolonged hours I can't relate
to joy, to strength, to peace, to you.
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 31.1.03 by Deirdre

remembering why I can't be alone
Breaking everything around me when you're not around
Seems to numb my shaking hand that hit the wall just now
My eyes, red, view the hole I made just now.
Oh my God Change my shape like these weary, misplaced bones.
My voice is coarse from screaming that I am drifting through this storm.
the weight of who I am
sinks the ship that sails on shrinking dreams within my soul.
the wait for who I'm not
picks apart my very soul that rots.
I am shattered like the glass I threw at the door.
I will swallow remorse and wash it back with blood and tears.
God I hate the things I've done when I'm alone.
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 29.1.03 by megan

Beautiful reality,
how blunt is your sting!
The final blows have yet to fall,
but my tears are enough to bring in the ocean's tide
Let me feel what's worthwhile, only to take it away.
You're a paradox full of cruel laughter,
and the irony leaves me aching inside.

(by Megan)

Posted 28.1.03 by Deirdre

from deep inside the marrow
I'm quite a freak show strolling down memory lane
come see the circus I've eaten flowers and pig brains
ants and locusts and menudo.
rabbit trails and silence can't keep skeletons inside my closet
but I wont come out anyway
no matter what they say, I am not gay
you can relax, it's okay
I'm no one but the man I am today
go straight off the paved road, turn onto the narrow
come feel my conscience burning from deep inside the marrow
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 27.1.03 by Deirdre

wanderlust
is this thirst for an oblivion . restlessly beyond usurping from
his bottled up fears . and wasted years he cannot shake
countless time lost . times spent without you
kids wish dad had never left them
they miss him and infect him in hopes to see him change
dad asks would absence fix indifference towards his kids .
but regrets can't kiss them while they sleep . or remove the winter sheet
that covers their window view of life outside this pain.
he's the same . lalluping in rage . stays in a cage
he remains enamored with illusion . oblivious to his withering from the inside out
and poisons his childrens dreams of having dad around.
this is his wanderlust
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 16.1.03 by megan

:: Unreachable ::

Beautiful girl are you empty inside?
Or is there some secret you're trying to hide?
Your facade is deceiving, your mask is crumbling
I can see through your eyes and find you within.
There's something inside you that I'll never know
Because you're running away in triumph,
as tears empty out your sweet smiles.
Empty girl are you ugly inside?

(By Megan)

Posted 14.1.03 by Deirdre

Michelle's Annie

flower girl, petals clasped gently in hand
they fall center aisle
and on her, every eye
Annie with an open hand sprinkles petals
all around

and you know that she's going away
but you know that she's not gone
and you smile just the same

Annie thinks of holding onto these flower petals
savoring the ending to this story
but this is a beginning
this is a beginning
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 8.1.03 by Deirdre

laconic or not

where are the words
where are the voices singing
where are the words
where are the lyrics going

time and time again these songs they don't make sense
and seldom will my faith attempt to leap the fence

where were the words
where was the pithy comeback
where were the words
where were they when I needed them

time and time again I'm caught in numbness
and seldom will complaints begin to find the answers
yet again these songs will not make sense
nor the way dreams always let you down

(by Nicholas)
©2003 Nicholas White