Posted 29.3.03 by Deirdre

a mad, mad girl
please pity the pitiful red-faced underdog
girl with a mission to fission
so sad
so very glad to be just that.

sitting and wallowing in her self-pity
alone with a phone book
full of those who don't give a ship
nor enough to see that she'll float.

discontinue the decaying process
that ever-downward spiral from
the undertoe
in all its promised amends
that constant creed; the need be me.

you and your bitter daily song-list of addiction
to your self-loathing manifestation in the public eye; pride.

ninny on my blindside
riddling my backside
bullets from her past time
bitterness of last time

Posted 21.3.03 by Deirdre

In the rain
the room is loud
their faces are indifferent towards me now
all staring freely through me
with the eyes behind those empty heads.

I scream I want to die, my friend
though you never called me friend,
have you ever called, my friend
and did you hear me call you friend
the stage was set when we came in
to do
or undo
oh, what to do
how to undo me echoes
in the voices raised above my theme song
everyone will egg me on
and drown me out
Leaving me out to dry,
but in the rain
and I'm standing in the rain again

Posted 21.3.03 by Deirdre

Dear me,

Perhaps you think the loneliness
will justify the silence.
I've often eavesdropped on your quiet ramblings in your head,
you promising a glorious end to meet the means which
is killing you
gradually.

              Always,
               you

Posted 16.3.03 by Deirdre

Steven's cult
Your mouth spews only dirty water, Steven
even on the morning on the way to church.
You make outrageous claims
with your uneducated forsight.
your doctrine blasphemes Christ who'd save you.
The inner man in me cries out for ways of misery
to find you here and mute your untamed mouth...
To shove your wisdom where the sun don't shine.
you and your fools gold gospel
can go to hell while you continue saying
oooooh well

Posted 14.3.03 by Deirdre

She's my Spring
She counts the hours she is without me
and lonely in her silent wondering.
Her thoughts are racing all about me
and all that we will soon be doing.
The sundial spins
despite our efforts to shake our shadows.
For the rain could never douse the sun with showers,
hence ceasing time to be.
So here I wait beside a teary, dismal meadow's tree,
with no desire for retreating any season's anonymity.
For now she must be only miles from me.
And I am counting flowers that I've picked for her...
and only her, only her.
She's my spring, and I'll hold her into winter,
but I will not release her even then,
when and if we'll marry hither.

In solemn dedication to my distant Deirdre: you are mine, and I will chase you... ignoring the deterrent fears of the unkown and unseen. I will never regret loving you forever. You have my word and my heart!!
©2003 Nicholas White

Posted 10.3.03 by Deirdre

Falling asleep
a minor key, tonight's lonely onward moaning
plays sadness to the wayward man in me
in a march night's distant lunar melody
while counting sheep in a crescendo
scales ascend so madly
and I close my eyes on delirante
as if to say I'll enjoy the psychosis